Hardship brings Greatness
It seems to me in life that there are periods where everything seems to be going just fine... No big or real issues to deal with, nothing that really pulls at your heart strings... And then, there comes the downpour... It's kind of like the calm before the storm.. We will all have the calm, and then we will all have the storms in our lives that we navigate through and try to make sense of.
I promised I'd be real with you guys.. That's just who I am.. I talk about things to make sense of them, I write because it's therapeutic for me. These past 2 weeks or so have been the storm.. There have been several big things that have quite frankly just left me speechless, upset, hurt, unsure of how to process my emotions and it's been a struggle to find a whole lot of happiness lately..
I love with my whole heart and i give my whole heart to whoever needs it. I've always been that way, and will always continue to love.. But today I learned something new from a man who I highly respect, our marriage counselor.. I don't have to tolerate everything... I just don't... I am in a marriage with Jesse and we are the team.. We make decisions together, we raise our family together and nothing will separate us..He and our boys are my priority.
I learned that not only do I have a voice that should be just as valued as others, but I need to protect my heart from hurt, my families heart from hurt and eliminate all disfunction in order for me to properly heal. We all face our own battles... Every single one of us. Not one person on this earth is perfect, unless I missed that Jesus came back.
I have suffered (and this is not a pity party so stay with me) an immense amount of trauma, stress, PTSD and have continually sought out the help I needed to help overcome my battles and feel like my best self. I have made that a priority not just for me but for my family's sake. They deserve the best Lindsey. It's selfish and unfair if I didn't do this for them.
Friends and family, we HAVE got to get the necessary help to be mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. Whether it be for your family, your spouse, your extended family, friends, whoever.. It's just not fair to anyone for you to think you can do it on your own. It doesn't work that way. Enter God... God created you perfect in his image. He loves us more than any earthly person does. He will take all the mess, the baggage, the ugly and hard.. He wants us to run to Him in prayer, asking, telling, talking and having a relationship with Him. You are so precious to Him.
He is ultimately THE ONLY one that can help heal us, deliver us from our sins (not that we won't ever sin), refresh our souls, give us new life and love us unconditionally. You just have to ask Him to be a part of your mess, your journey... He is patiently waiting on you.
There are things I NEVER would have thought I would go through in my life.. That's another story for another day.. They almost broke me until I really relied on the power of our God to bring me through. I realized He was it, all I had and the ONLY way to get better. It's ironic because even the hardest and most messy of times are the times He brings us the most peace, comfort and joy. He allows us to go through suffering in order to ultimately become closer to Him.
I know, it's hard. When i'm upset sometimes all i see is red or all I feel is my adrenaline rushing... I start spiraling out of control with my own thoughts, feelings and emotions. I'm not the best Lindsey. I get it, we all have these times where we say things we don't mean or our actions aren't loving or dignified. I've been there many times.. I know.. But if we at least try to put things in perspective a little bit and also recognize that we aren't in control of anyone but ourselves, it's freeing. Give it up... Don't let dysfunction take over your life, you don't need it.. We need to stop trying to help others sometimes, and get out of the way so God can work in their life.
This is a big lesson for me because I love big and want to help.. But what i'm learning even more quickly is that by trying to help these other people with their issues (I'm not a licensed counselor) it's bringing me down.. It's hurting my immediate family because i'm so preoccupied with trying to play God.. It's NOT MY JOB! And it's not your job either! Don't make these same mistakes where you put your heart and soul on the line only to be hurt.
SO with that, know that I feel you. I'm going through life and struggles just like you.. It's life.. There are the ups and then there are the downs. But God is constant and steady, always there and always ready to be your number 1 supporter! Rely on him.. Take His word and trust in His plan. Don't let people take advantage of you any more. Stick up for yourself and know how truly you are LOVED! I know we just got deep, but sometimes the truth needs to come out..